Ridiculous Jon Gruden Quotes Archive: 2011 Part 1, 2011 Part 2, 2012 Part 1
We’re back for the second and final installment of Ridiculous Jon Gruden Quotes for the 2012 season. There’s a chance Gruden could leave the MNF booth for a coaching job this offseason, so enjoy it while it lasts:
“Everything looks like a penalty in this high-speed slo-mo.”
“Bryce Brown has some strong lower body parts.”
Welp.
“I can’t say I don’t disagree with him.”
This is the rare triple negative. I need a flowchart figure out what he meant.
On Jamaal Charles: “I stood on the sidelines in Tampa and got whiplash watching him run through our defense one time.”
“Shooting bullets of fire.”
“They’re dropping houses on these Bears.”
“Don’t be surprised if Kaepernick comes out naked.”
Presented without context.
“Minus 13 yards passing. I haven’t seen that number since I played quarterback.”
On Cam Newton: “He’s a luxury vehicle. That’s what he is.”
“You got to put the groceries away in traffic or a panther will take a bite out of it.”
“I don’t understand pass interference, Mike.”
Gruden admitting to not understanding the rules has been a trend this year.
“One tough cookie.”
“SNATCHCATCHABILITY.”
A new word!
On Matt Schaub: “I’ve seen him get hit so hard, rumor has it that his ear fell off.”
On Matt Schaub again: “I got him getting hit where the sun don’t shine on Thanksgiving.”
“Vince Wilfork is not a big iron deer on your lawn.”
“I don’t understand pass interference anymore.”
He still doesn’t get it.
“Every time you look on the Jets sideline, it looks like they’re solving some calculus problem.”
“4-9 football teams do 4-9 things.”
On the Titans-Jets MNF game: “An amazing night of futility.”
“I love this name, Bierman. I’m a beer man myself.”
“I gotta go back to school in the offseason and learn how to use some of these words.”
“I wouldn’t have a Twitter account if it was the last Twitter account available.”
