This is the first post in what I hope will be a long series documenting the bizarre things that come out of Jon Gruden’s mouth during Monday Night Football broadcasts. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy having him on the broadcasts, but there’s at least one time during each game where I find myself rewinding and thinking, “Did he really say that?”
I’ve compiled a list of the most ridiculous things he’s said on MNF through the first 8 weeks of Monday night action (from New England-Miami to Kansas City-San Diego). In no particular order:
On Adrian Clayborn: “I called him light switch, because he can go from 0 to 80 in a hurry.”
I’ve never seen a light switch go 0 to 80.
On LaRon Landry: “When you see this guy with his shirt off, this guy is really put together.”
On Tim Hightower: “I call him on AC/DC back; every run is hard.”
“I love to see big bodies bang.”
“Look for anything here.”
“This is where the Tampa Bay crowd has to make their two cents felt.”
“Gerald McCoy showing his get off right here. Just a quick penetration.”
“The Bears have more 3rd-and-8s, 3rd-and-10s than any other team in the league, I think.”
He’s just making up stats now, you think?
“He is built like a fire hydrant.”
On Kyle Vanden Bosch: “He eats glass for breakfast.”
“The Jets have to walk the talk.”
“I’ve learned a lot of four and five syllable words from Jaworski. I don’t even know if they’re real words.”
“They have pummeled every quarterback they’ve seen. Some of this is rated R, I’d hate to show it to you back home.”
“Watch him squirt through this hole and unload at contact.”
“I don’t understand football anymore.”
I’ll be back for Part 2 at the end of the season. Until then, follow us on Twitter, where I’ll make fun of Gruden’s nonsense in real time.