UPDATE: Ridiculous Jon Gruden quotes is back for 2012. Check it out.
This is part 2 of what I hope will be a long series documenting the bizarre things that come out of Jon Gruden’s mouth during Monday Night Football broadcasts. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy having him on the broadcasts, but there’s at least one time during each game where I find myself rewinding and thinking, “Did he really say that?”
I’ve compiled a list of the most ridiculous things he’s said on MNF through the last 8 weeks of Monday night action (from Chicago-Philadelphia to Atlanta-New Orleans) and one from the Orange Bowl on Wednesday night (the volleyball one). If you missed Part 1, click here to check it out. In no particular order:
“I hate to get too excited about effort, but boy, it’s one of the things that excites me the most.”
“Sanzenbacher, I love that name.”
On an Aaron Rodgers throw: “I fell off my bed. I almost hit my head and died!”
On another Rodgers throw: “That’s just the shredder right there, Jaws.”
“Every day Brees comes to work, Payton stimulates him.”
On Rob Gronkowski: “You need LeBron James to cover this kid.”
“Nate Solder is a joker deluxe.”
“That might be the worst hat I’ve ever seen.”
Ok, maybe he was right about this one.
After a Julian Edelman punt return TD: “I thought that was Wes Welker. Where does Bill Belichick find these guys?”
Who cares, right? All those tiny white guys are the same.
“Can you imagine Blake Griffin rushing the passer, GOOD NIGHT!”
“He stood in there like an old riverboat gambler and gunned that ball right on the money.
“Pot Roast, I called him Pork Chop earlier. I put pork chops in my pot roast.”
“Tebow is a rock ‘n’ roll legend.”
“He’ll shuffle across the formation and shoot his gun, POW!”
“This is a mysterious group of Rams, a lot of these guys just met each other.”
During an argument with Jaworski: “That’s why there’s 31 flavors of ice cream.”
“Go get some Skittles if you’re a young back and see what they do for you.”
“These Skittles, I gotta find out what’s in these things.”
“Get clearance to launch one to the missile Mike Wallace.”
“If i’m an official and I go under the hood, I’m gonna say it’s close enough, give it to him.”
This is not how football works.
On Michael Turner: “I call him road rage. He runs with a rage.”
“Julio Jones is a 6′ 4″ stalion!!”
“That’s our AC/DC loud and hard run right here.”
“Flipped it like a volleyball.”
Me too, Jon. Me too.
I’ll be back for more next season. Until then, follow us on Twitter, where I’ll make fun of football announcer nonsense in real time.