Citizens Bank Park

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I got to visit the Phillies this past Wednesday for their amazing comeback victory against the Reds. How did the night measure up?

+405 ft Home Run
It’s not a complete visit to Citizens Bank Park without watching a Phillie smash a home run. Jayson Werth’s game-tying blast came in the bottom of the sixth.

-3371.4 millimeters/hr Schuylkill Expressway
An accident held us up from getting in to the game on time, but we didn’t miss anything.

+$78/month SEPTA
One thing Philly’s public transit gets right is the post-game return trip. A subway whisks you from the Sports Complex in South Philadelphia all the way to Center City in just minutes; from there you can get where you need to without having sat in a stadium parking lot for an hour. Also, taking SEPTA allows you to save the $12 parking charge.

6993.6 The Phillies Website
If the process of buying tickets to a Phillies game were any more annoying, I’d think they were trying to prevent people from coming. You have to type in a validation code 30 times. You can’t search accross multiple games. You can only select what the computer thinks is the best available seat in a section. The site loses your password. You have to start over if you don’t make a selection within 7 minutes. Load time is atrocious whether you use FireFox, IE, or Chrome; Verizon or Comcast. And $11.00 in service charges to purchase 2 tickets online? Thanks for shopping! That’ll be 11 more dollars. Smile! We love our fans!

+9827.7 The View
Our seats, like almost any seat in the house, provided a beautiful view of the game. The stadium is really well designed.

-107 dB Sound Effects Operator
The guy running the sound effects played just enough of them to be annoying, but would stop playing the sound right before enough of the crowd was with him for his chant cheer or clap. We can’t let the fans cheer themselves, but we’ll demoralize the team by making it seem like our crowd is only “almost” cares. It was like a tentative driver at a merge ramp: holding everyone behind him back while interfering with the cars on the highway.

-$150/month Comcast
My fiancee was sick so I went with a friend. She had to listen to the game on the radio instead of watch it on TV. She’s not the only one with this problem.

+258 HR Matt Stairs sighting
You can’t go wrong with a guy who says, “I’m not gonna lie. I try to hit home runs. And that’s it.”

-$20 Cheesesteak with onions, Boardwalk fries, and a soda
Lukewarm, lukewarm, and watery. Disappointing. I’m told I should have gone to Bull’s or Chickie’s + Pete’s.

+73.3°F Manager vs Umpire
Cinncinnati’s manager meandered towards an umpire to argue but was so casual that he didn’t get tossed. We couldn’t even tell if he was saying anything. (Note: A Charlie Manuel sighting would have broken my scale.)

+999999.9 Shane Victorino walk off hit/Chan Ho Park Sandwich board
On the last night before the last-chance All-Star voting ended, Victorino made sure to put his mug front and center on SportsCenter. With two out in the bottom of the ninth, Victorino broke the tie and won the game. Pandemonium ensues as the players run out on the field. And Chan Ho Park walks out with a… sandwhich board?

Final Score: 999999.9

Verdict: If your visit to Citizens Bank involves walkoffs, sandwich boards, and a cheesesteak, you’re done well for yourself. A bottom-of-the-ninth game-winner to get yourself in the All Star game? What a night. I can’t wait until my next visit!


Matt Rogers - Bio coming soon.

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  • thelovelyfiancee

    Tony Luke's is also worth going to. Or you could just get a hot dog or three.

  • The mere sight of that stadium jpeg slowly loading down my screen brought joy to my heart. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Thank you.

  • The mere sight of that stadium jpeg slowly loading down my screen brought joy to my heart. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Thank you.