Playoff Predictions You Can’t Bet On

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I’m here again to provide you with the most in depth playoff predictions around. I’ve gone beyond the plays themselves to tell you what will REALLY happen on the field. I’ll provide you with four predictions, since there’s four playoff games this week.

Where the retirements began.

1. Brett Favre’s retirement will be mentioned during the Green Bay game, the Jets game, and also one unrelated game. That’s right, a game involving teams he hasn’t harassed. But really, his retirement press conferences have harassed us all. This also makes good fodder for the Super Bowl Prop Bets Game, where your Super Bowl party guests guess at the outcomes of funny proposition bets you found online.

2. Roger Goodell will smile and nod as the Packers attempt an unprecedented 11-man blitz against the Eagles on Sunday. Strangely the same thing will happen to the Steelers the following week.

It's certainly a challenge sometimes. (getty images)

3. There will be a clock-management issue during the Eagles-Packers game. Maybe that was an easy one. Bill Simmons of ESPN has dubbed Mike McCarthy “Andy Reid 2.0,” so this one isn’t all about Andy Reid’s… challenges. Green Bay’s famous more-than-two-minute drill against New England stands out for ending without an attempt into the end zone. At one point the quarterback appeared to ask if he should spike the ball. It was fourth down! So don’t count out the challenger.

The Contrarian

4. Eagles-Packers will be low-scoring and Seahawks-Saints will be closer than expected. Anytime everyone in the Sports Universe agrees, that usually means they’re wrong. See such universal predictions as “LeBron will go to the Knicks” and the annual “The Texans will put it together this year!” Everyone agrees that the Pack and the Birds will put up points and that the Saints will blow the Seahawks off their own field, but there’s evidence for The Contrarian View. Football Outsiders pegs the Seahawks as the third-worst playoff team ever; the two teams they rank as the all-time worst to make the playoffs each won their first-round games. The biggest deficiencies of the weak Eagles defense are against tight ends and running backs, but Ryan Grant and Jermichael Finley are out for the season. Eagles-Packers may be played with snow on the ground, which can depress some teams’ ability to score. Eagles players may come out sleepy after Roger Goodell moves the game to Wednesday morning at 7:00 AM.

Will you be able to find these at Bodog? Don’t bet on it.

Matt Aquiline - I mean what I write, except when it's wrong--then it was satire. I'm not far along towards my great aspirations. My many interests include sports, satire, religion, reading, politics, privacy, music, married life, and alliteration. - Follow him on Twitter here

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